People often ask whether they can bring someone with them to a workplace mediation. The short answer is that you can bring a support person to your private intake session, and to the joint session if the other participant agrees. The longer answer is that who you bring matters a great deal, and for most mediations people decide they do not need anyone at all.
Do you need one?
Workplace mediation is informal and not disciplinary. It is an opportunity to show your employer that you can work through a low-level conflict with the help of a trained facilitator. Support people are normally part of disciplinary processes, so in most workplace mediations nobody brings one. Check your workplace policy, and talk to your mediator about what would help you.
What a support person is for
A support person is there for your emotional wellbeing. They can ask questions about the process and seek clarification. They do not speak for you, negotiate for you or put your case. If a support person becomes combative or keeps interrupting, the mediator may ask them to leave. A good alternative is for them to wait in another room or be available by phone, and the mediator can pause the session whenever you want to talk with them.
Who to choose
The best support people are independent of your workplace and have your interests at heart: a friend, a counsellor, an advocate or a union representative. Family members are welcome, but in our experience they often find it hard not to step in. Before you ask someone, ask yourself two questions. Will this person help resolve things, or make them harder? And will the other participant agree to them being there? If the answer to either is no, choose someone else.
Why not someone from work
We advise against bringing a colleague, a manager or anyone else from your organisation. A manager supporting one participant can damage their relationship with the other. It can look like bias. It can make it harder for the employer to manage the situation afterwards, and it can draw the wider team into a matter that should stay between the two of you. Choose someone outside your organisational orbit.
Both participants must agree
Any support person needs the agreement of both participants, and it works both ways. Tell your mediator early if you would like to bring someone. The mediator will raise it with the other participant before the joint session so it is settled in advance. Support people follow the same rules as the participants, including confidentiality.
Prefer a printable version? Download the Bringing a Support Person factsheet from our Resources page. For how the day itself runs, read What to expect at your workplace mediation or the workplace mediation FAQs.
